It’s me ,Missfit. I know it’s Valentine’s Day and I should be thankful that I am no longer a teenage girl with bad acne who buys herself a box of chocolates in an attempt to ease the pain of not having a significant other for the oh-so-spectacular-and-“ahhhhh”-enspiring mushiness that is today. *breathe*
But I could really use your help for today.
I’ve never really been one of those girls who likes to go out for a big fancy dinner or really go out in public much for Valentine’s Day. Maybe when I was the lonely teenage girl without a boyfriend, and I had no idea what it was really like outside of my own delusions of grandeur, I may have thought that would be a good idea. But, now that I’m aware of what actually goes on out there…yeah…not such a big fan.
Today is one of those days where every idiot with hormones thinks that by taking a girl out for a big fancy dinner, treating her to a movie, buying her a few dozen roses with a huge box of chocolates and getting her a big sappy card will automatically lead to some action. It’s those very idiots that make me hate going out for Valentine’s Day.
People will be packed in like sardines at every restaurant along the way. The radio will be playing a continuous loop of schmoopy love songs and guitar ballads. Last minute partakers will be crowding the supermarkets, flower shops and boutiques trying to pick up the perfect gift for his or her loved one. And, of course this means that every one of these people will be out on the roads driving to each of these places, which means that I will be dealing with idiot drivers in abundance on the roadways…idiot drivers who are distracted by their smitten loved ones or are distracted by trying to figure out which of those supermarkets, flower shops and boutiques will be less busy and fully stocked to allow the best possible shopping result with the most successful gifts to woo his or her loved one.
And then you have to take into consideration the prices for everything. Any other time of year, I can expect to pay a halfway normal price for flowers, candies, cards and dinner reservations. Valentine’s Day, as defined by one of my friends, is one of those “Hallmark holidays” created by marketing executives and advertisers. Knowing the desire of every man to woo his significant other into his bed, those very marketing executives and advertisers can then use the rules of supply and demand to feed the hysteria of the masses and drive prices higher. Any other time of year, one can expect to pay approximately $50.00 or so for a dozen roses from a florist. On Valentine’s Day, that same dozen roses can easily cost $120.00 because of the high demand.
So, God, if you’re listening, I would like to celebrate Valentine’s Day a little closer to my own definition of romantic. I’d be happy with breakfast in bed. Sure, there can be a single red rose in a bud vase on the breakfast tray. After that, it would be marvelous to stay in and snuggle on the sofa watching The Princess Bride, First Knight, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves or Tristan + Isolde. And, if it’s not too much to ask…is there any way for the dishes to clean themselves?