I find myself falling into this recurring cycle of blog fade. While other bloggers find regular content to discuss, I find myself not wanting to use this space as an arena where I complain about the day’s events or problems which I may be experiencing at the time I am writing. And, as I often write what’s on my mind, it seems that the theme has become just that. I want the content to be worthwhile. Other people have themes. I have not yet found a theme which I can apply for writing…other than using the space to sort through whatever thoughts are in my head.
I can easily pick a daily topic dealing with a word of the day, or a theme of the week, but I don’t necessarily want this space to be a pre-fab sort of generalization. Although my writing reveals information about me, I don’t want to take a daily detail, such as my favorite color, and write about it for a day and then my favorite food another day. This information occasionally finds its way here, but it is in my own way that I reveal it. Friday 5 entries work to keep content on the page, but I don’t want that to be this space. That kind of information seems more suitable for a facebook type of interface. I’ll occasionally include a Friday 5, but I don’t want the majority of my entries to fall into that specific category.
Becoming self-absorbed over the last few months, I have practically cut off all ties with my new media expression. I haven’t been on Twitter as regularly as I have been in the past. I log into facebook long enough to check updates, maybe make a few comments, and then disappear into occupying myself with whatever else. I find myself logging into AIM or MSN Messenger on invisible status so as to avoid “conversations” with people. No one in particular. I just generally haven’t felt much like talking to people. And, then there’s my blog. I haven’t written in so long.
I don’t like cutting myself off from everything. I don’t want to do it. But, it’s what I’ve found myself doing. I also find myself sorthing through my thoughts (like I’m doing now) when I haven’t written in an extended period of time. It’s as if by telling myself in a public forum that I will write on a daily basis that it will magically happen.
I don’t want my writing to be forced. But, I also don’t want it to be non-existent. With that, I’m left wandering the middle, trying to find a happy medium.