We’ve all been there – the point in our lives when we reach a crossroads (or two, or three). Everything culminates in just a fashion that what has been a standard, and routine part of life somehow reaches a state of upheaval. Maybe it’s by your own decision. Maybe it’s by a series of events. Whatever causes it, it happens.
I find that over the last month or two, I have this nagging voice in the back of my head. Of course the voice isn’t an actual voice. I’d be looking at a specific destination if that were the case, I’m sure. But, there’s something that keeps pulling at the depths of my soul – tugging, but not quite in a specified direction. Maybe it’s just that I’m too stubborn and driven to pay attention to the fact that there actually is a direction it’s pointing toward. Maybe I just keep overthinking it and wind up talking myself out of the confusion and keeping on the path I’ve told myself I need to be on, the safe path.
At what point am I supposed to take that path less traveled? At what point am I supposed to realize that what I’ve been striving for maybe isn’t what I want to strive for anymore? If that is the case, which road am I supposed to choose?
I could make a list of pros and cons. I generally find that the pros and cons tend toward the ultimate decision I want to make. This time around? I have no clue. Part of me feels like I should step out and chart my own path. Then the rational part of me steps in and reminds me how much I like having a roof over my head and that I need my job to ensure I continue to have that roof over my head. And, I go back to the other side of the coin to try to figure out a logistic plan to create a foolproof way to rectify any potential pitfalls.
And, that’s when I get stuck in my head – going over and over and over all of the possibilities. When I finally get frustrated that I can’t make a decision, I usually just give up and find my way to the closest vat of refined sugary puffiness to bring me back to reality.
p.s I apparently REALLY need this vacation.